Discovered on: 2021-12-13 18:40:04
Source: By: nobody – Gossip
His name is Alec E. Rosentrater. Iowa State University. Aerospace Engineering.
He says he believes women are equal, but his desires mattered to him a lot more than mine did. He ridiculed me and put all the blame for our problems on me and my chronic health conditions. He was super booksmart, he was charming, but also emotionally and physically abusive. He assaulted me in March 2019 when I was 18, he was 17.
Later I told him my feelings were the same as someone who survived assault, and he said, no that’s not what happened between us because I didn’t say no. He was doing one thing, and I said yes to that. But then he started doing something else that moved my bra that I was not okay with and I froze. I couldn’t process what was happening until it was over because I just didn’t want to believe it. I cried. And he cried too because he didn’t intend to hurt me. He’s not a monster; he’s a very flawed person. He didn’t want to believe he assaulted me, and neither did I.
We tried to “rebuild trust” which really ended up with me letting him push physical boundaries further and further past my comfort zone as a way to feel like things were peaceful and so I had “something of value” to offer him.
(FYI, YOU OFFER SO MUCH MORE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAN HIS PLEASURE.)
I told him early on in dating him that I wanted to take a break from making out because it felt like too much too fast and so we’d have more conversation and get to know each other. He told me that physical intimacy is just part of having a relationship, and that he’d be very sad if I didn’t want to do that anymore. (This is manipulative. My actions don’t control his emotions. That’s all him.)
He did not respond well to me changing my mind during intimacy. He would often grumble about it if I asked to slow down or stop. When I reflected on what I wanted for 2 weeks and told him that I didn’t like that we had been doing “x” and didn’t want to do it anymore, he made a meme with profanity that belittled and bullied me for changing my mind and using my voice.
This man has big problems understanding consent and how to respect a woman’s body and her mind. Maybe he’ll grow up and mature by the time you’re dating him. Extreme caution to those who date him. If you do, don’t get involved physically for a few months. You may get really hurt. It’s taken me years to get over the emotional abuse and gaslighting and trauma. Save yourself the trouble. Be safe. There are much better men than this one.
Published at Sat, 25 Sep 2021 18:46:27 +0000