Discovered on: 2022-04-24 14:55:08

Source: Trying to understand women

Trying to understand womenPosted by anonymous 05/24/2011 05:37 PM | Last Reply 05/28/2011 06:24 PMHey ladies, sorry if the title implies sexism. I’m really curious to know how women think, what kind of traits and qualities you find admirable in another girl, what your aspirations in life are.

Every guy I talk to says chicks are just wired too different. They don’t understand ‘guy’ traits like loyalty or duty, they’re constantly thinking about how they feel, they’re essentially not fit to make serious decisions or have an intelligent conversation with. So, I hope you can dispel these conceptions and restore my faith in the other human species.0 votes    vote downreportreply 10 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 05:52 PMYou’re not trying to be sexist? Really? First of all, we’re not another “human species.” We’re part of the same species as you; we’re just a different gender. Second of all, considering more girls got into Northwestern than guys, I think we can hold an intelligent conversation. And as for loyalty and duty? I would stand up for any of my friends or sorority sisters, no questions asked. Same goes for my family. Just because we talk about our feelings more than guys do doesn’t make us inferior; honestly I think it takes strength to recognize your own feelings and open yourself up to others by discussing them. I could be wrong but you sound like many of the guys I’ve met at Northwestern: arrogant, chauvinistic, and too lacking in social skills to actually talk to girls and figure out what we’re really like without resorting to CollegeACB.reply 20 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 06:12 PM You’re not trying to be sexist? Really? First of all, w…There’s a reason why a lot of people think of feminists as a bra-burning, overly aggressive mob, and this is why. This person is literally asking about that our aspirations are, and you want to berate him for using the phrase “human species” which was obviously just meant to be hyperbole? (Also, on that same note, if you’re going to shit a brick over that, know that saying “the other human species” means that he’s making the exact same statement about his own gender.)

“So, I hope you can dispel these conceptions and restore my faith in the other human species.”

HE’S ASKING YOU TO BREAK DOWN GENDER STEREOTYPES. LITERALLY ASKING. And yet you’re ruining this opportunity by instantly assuming – yes! – that what he wrote fulfills the MALE stereotype of being “arrogant, chauvinistic, and too lacking in social skills.” The fact that you somehow made it to the end of that sentence, chose to single out the phrase “human species” and still managed to miss the whole first half of the sentence is ridiculous.reply 30 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 06:25 PM There’s a reason why a lot of people think of feminists…Ok, maybe I overreacted a bit. And I really am no “bra-burning, overly-aggressive mob” type of feminist. If you met me you’d understand- I wear dresses all the time, wear heels to every party, and love flirting. I guess I’m just sick of guys automatically assuming that because I have boobs my opinion doesn’t matter, I can’t hold an intelligent conversation, and I have to marry rich to go anywhere in life. And it just seemed to me that the OP actually thought this might possibly be true about us. reply 40 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 07:12 PMOP, I suggest you read Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus by John Gray. It’s a retarded book for the most part but really helped me understand the fundamental differences between men and women and has really positively impacted my relationships with my boyfriends. Simply because I know the sort of compliments they value. Like my current boyfriend, I have always thought he was trustworthy, etc but I go out of my way to tell him that, and to tell him how much I appreciate him helping me move my stuff or something like that.

Women thrive when they are nurturing and feel appreciated and cherished. If there is a problem, the most important thing is that the other person understands how they feel. Men, on the other hand, thrive when they feel needed and responsible. If there is a problem, they want to feel trusted they can handle them by themselves. That’s where conflict arises: to females, you show someone you care by offering to help her with a problem or listen to her. With men, it’s insulting to offer help because you’re suggesting he can’t do that on his own.

Females do have values like loyalty or sense of duty, but it just manifests in different ways and they’re secondary to other values. Mothers feel a sense of duty to their children, but they feel even more nurturing to them.

Personally, to get by in this world, I’ve learned to compact my feminine qualities. I am more of a logical thinker by nature, so it’s easier for me to simply organize issues and then deal with things accordingly without having to have a good cry first, but at the end of the day, I really do feel like I just want to be “listened” to, as lame as that sounds, it’s a female trait that men will never get. Sometimes I think there are so many guys that really don’t understand that girls are people too, we’re not an entirely different species, but yes there are fundamental differences.reply 50 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 08:04 PM Ok, maybe I overreacted a bit. And I really am no “bra-…I probably should have phrased the intro better than that.

Being in a frat, I see all of these girls come through this place, and get, in some way, treated like dogshit by guys. Especially in the cases of guys who hook up a ton. And yet, they still keep coming back. That kind of response prompts questions about self-respect, perspective, and sexual desire. I’ve heard a decent number of chicks here basically beg to get sexually degraded, which just does not make sense to me.

I can’t understand women because, trying to put myself in her shoes for a lot of situations, I would do something completely different. I feel I missed some crucial lesson on women’s psyches.reply 60 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/24/2011 09:47 PM I probably should have phrased the intro better than th…This thread is an embarrassment to Northwestern.

Having said that, girls are more than capable of using guys too, so hook ups can be but are not always an example of guys treating girls like dogshit.

These situations don’t apply to all women, because I have chosen to not hook up with anyone at Northwestern yet. I completely understand and accept that other people do it, it’s just not my scene. (And for the record: I am in a sorority and no I’m not ugly, I’ve turned down plenty). I don’t mean to sound all high and mighty because this isn’t a “better” way to behave, it’s just an alternative I’ve chosen. The reason I bring it up is that I hope you won’t question ALL women’s self-respect when a) a lot of times we have the same goals as your frat brothers who are hooking up and b) a substantial amount of women behave differently. I’m guilty of the same kinds of thoughts but we should all work to keep them to a minimum, especially on a site like this.reply 70 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 01:40 AM OP, I suggest you read Men Are From Mars Women Are From…[Too $hort]
Talk about these hoes Big..

[Notorious B.I.G.]
I got a bitch that suck my dick til I nut
Spit it on my gut and slurp that shit back up
Ain’t that a slut (HELL YEA) she even take it in the butt
Fuck for bout a hour, now she want a golden shower
You didn’t know that we be pissin on hoes, bitch (BEOTCH)
Luke and Biggie straight shittin on hoes, bitch (BEOTCH)
Lick your toes, bitch? (BEOTCH) Fuck no, you must be crazy
Squirt in your face and then I’m Swayze (bitch)
Recognize G, straight up, I can’t knock ya
After Big Poppa, fuck ALL of Junior M.A.F.I.A.
The whole clique, dick sucked, ass licked
Leave your number by the phone, bring yo’ ass on home
I roam in Lexuses and Benzes, the fly way
With the flyest bitch gettin head on the highway (ridin)
My way deep throat on Luke’s boat
When the moon rises, I’m cumin in her eyes-es (do it)
Just the way players play
Leave it up to me, I get fucked all day (yeah)
Sucked all day, smokin blunts, countin cheese
Fucking bitches til they assholes bleed
What you say ba-by

Chorus: Too $hort, Biggie (repeat 2X)

[$hort]All I want is hoes, big booty hoes
[B.I.G]Check it out, here’s another one
[$hort]All I want is hoes, big booty hoes
“Don’t take em to the crib unless they bonin”

[Notorious B.I.G.]
Uhh.. uhh..
Biggie bag bitches from barbecues to barmitzvah’s
The dick don’t fit, use your lips cause.. (use em)
I’m feelin kinda itchy for a quickie
Don’t take off your coat, all you got to do is lick me
Me eat you, I beat you, then greet you to the door bitch
Cause I don’t love you no more
Which one of these hoes in the lobby wanna slob me
You know me, I like my dick Brown like Bobby
Jim Duke shoot, then the bitch get the boot
unless she lick ass and blow dicks like flutes
I like em cute, round tits and fat asses
Educated, so I can bust off on they glasses
I wanna cum on your tongue and gums, all night
The bitch drink nuts by the pint

[Too $hort]
Drink it bitch!
All of these hoes do that shit


[Too $hort]
It’s after midnight, it’s time to come up
Fuckin with some sluts tryin to bust a nut
I ain’t seen this many hoes in a long time
I wanna make em all mine (get down hoe)
but it’s gettin kinda late, and I cain’t wait
Bitch fuck a first date
I pulled out my dick, she called me rude..
.. but then she ate it like food (tramp)
Then she noticed the limp and the whip
Recognize game, you’ve been pimped by a pimp
Throw all that trick shit, out the window
You come up short tryin to doubt the pimp hoe
Too $hort baby, straight from Oakland
Hoe money is my fix and I can’t be broken
Freak bitches all on my dick
We on some Brooklyn – Oakland, California shit (beotch!)


[Too $hort]
You knew I was a dog when you met me bitch (BITCH)
Ha ha, fo’ sho’ (YEAHH)
Tell you anything you wanna hear right about now
To the spot, that’s where we goin baby
See we goin to the spot
Do our thang like we always do
You ain’t know?
reply 80 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 01:41 AM [Too $hort] Beeotch! Talk about these hoes Big….point being that men mars women venus is a shitty book and all of those “differences” are just dumb socialization that erryones a part of so fuck it all this world sucksreply 90 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 01:48 AM This thread is an embarrassment to Northwestern. …I’m a guy and I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t look down on girls that hook up a lot. I look down on and am perplexed by girls that hook up with guys that consistently treat them like shit, especially if they’re aware of that fact.

I think there is definitely a double standard, but I think part of what contributes to it is girls fucking with guys that are dicks and are thus more likely to brag about their conquests and pass you on for all their friends to run through or if not that, possessively keep you away from them but brag about it to them at the same time. If you pick who you hook up with well, you probably won’t run into those problems.reply 100 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 08:14 AM There’s a reason why a lot of people think of feminists…Why should we have to break down gender stereotypes for him? Why can’t he just go talk to some girls and break them down for himself? That’s a stupid demand to make on women and an even stupider one to pose on CollegeACB. It isn’t my job as a woman to fix your shitty stereotypes. It’s yours.reply 110 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 02:53 PM Why should we have to break down gender stereotypes for…The self-righteousness in your tone is just great. I’m not ‘demanding’ that you break down gender stereotypes for me, I’m simply asking you what makes you tick. I don’t give a fuck about figuring women out so I can get in their pants, I just want to be better friends with the girls I know.

Face it, if you’re in a fraternity or a sorority, you’re segregated by gender. 3 years of greek life at this school have shown me how poorly we regard members of the opposite sex – as dicksleeves, arm-candy, but not people. Publicly, it seems like while men can define themselves without the need for women, women on this campus are defined by, and in return define themselves with respect to, men.

Like I said, I don’t want to know how to get in your pants. I want to hear your aspirations for life, your idealized world, what -you- want to do. This is not a demand, it is a request. That is my only request in this thread.reply 120 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/25/2011 08:43 PM Why should we have to break down gender stereotypes for…i mean, it’s our responsibility to prove that the stereotypes wrong. let it be a discussion.

also, all of these bitchy responses “in the name of women everywhere” aren’t really the best PR.reply 130 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/26/2011 04:09 PM i mean, it’s our responsibility to prove that the stere…If your concept of how women are is defined by a CollegeACB thread, then you’re really not worth dealing with.reply 140 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/26/2011 08:54 PM 150 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/28/2011 03:25 AMay OP, you sound earnest enough so I’m going to try to help you out.

On dressing slutty:
A girl’s competition for guys’ attention is based on looks, so girls will dress slutty when they go out. This does not necessarily mean they want to hook up, sometimes they just enjoy the attention they get from the lookers. It’s an ego boost thing. They are also not looking to be sexually degraded. Although they make look like they are dressing “to be fucked”, this is not true most of the time. Unless they are drunk, MOST girls have a hard time hooking up with “random” guys.

On emotions:
Girls can’t help the fact that they get more emotional than guys. Much of it comes from the hormone cycle, more than people give it credit for. An example is that girls will dress more provocatively during ovulation, and become more likable, to increase “reproductive success”. They tend dress the least slutty during their period, or around it, and are also the most bitchy. Girls and guys brains are wired differently. Men try to solve problems in situations while women pay more attention to how the situation makes them feel.

Emotions are the body’s necessary form of feedback so there is nothing to be ashamed about having them. In fact, it is counter-evolutionary to actually have no emotions. You would then feel no remorse on doing terrible things. However, the meaning of the word has become convoluted and tied to meaning “over-emotional”, where we imagine someone in hysterics for no apparent reason. But emotion in itself is essential to life. Women are more in tune, and are more socially encouraged to “listen to their emotions” while men are socially discouraged to display less emotions which make them appear less dominant. Both sexes still have them regardless.

On going back to someone who treats you like shit:
Women find it difficult to ignore their emotions. When there is a part of them that tells them they really like a guy despite everything, they listen to it. Sometimes they may hate themselves for it, but once again, no one gets to choose who they have an attraction for. Let’s also not forget the men’s responsibility here: they must be somehow encouraging the female to repeat the behavior, or else it would not happen. Both parties must be at fault.

On bra-burning feminism:
Some girls are just fed up with men’s bullshit. Think about how many sexist jokes and stereotypes you hear around here. But to be fair, oftentimes girls hold conflicting beliefs. On the one hand, they want men to treat them as equals (in the job place, as a friend, etc). On the other hand, they want men to treat them better than equals (holding the door, paying for dinner, not being too harsh etc). Women need to figure out which one they actually want before spewing feminism all over everyone. Men should also take care to be less douchey.

On creeping:
Guys who you don’t want hitting on you are creepers. Guys who you want to hit on you are you are flirting.

On hot guys:
Girls will take more shit from hot guys, because they are hot. Vice versa. This is why hot people are typically more bitchy/douchey. Because they can get away with it.

On loyalty:
I really think this varies from person to person, not sure if you can say it’s a gender thing. I’ve met some very loyal guys and girls. You can obviously gauge loyalty through daily interactions. Do they tend to only be out for themselves? Do they have no problem screwing people over? Do they keep their word? Would they leave you when you’re in trouble? Tell your secrets? These are all easy checkpoints.

On hot girls:
Girls are jealous of hot girls. If a girl says something negative about a hot girl that seems unnecessary, it is absolutely because she is jealous of that girl. Insecure girls will take every opportunity to make themselves feel better. And it is proven that if you talk shit about other people, you feel better about yourself, even though it makes you look bad. You can test this out: say “such and such is so hot”. Insecure girls’ next statement will be something like “She’s so (insert negative comment here) though”. Guys do the exact same thing when they feel threatened. When asked about it, girls will claim they are not jealous and guys will claim they are not threatened. Both lies.
reply 160 votes vote downreport
Posted by anonymous 05/28/2011 06:24 PMAt around “they’re essentially not fit to make serious decisions or have an intelligent conversation with” I realized this had to be a troll post.

We’re in 2011, not 1850; feminism isn’t dead, but this particular type of misogyny that OP claims to hear all the time definitely *is.*reply

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